Look at me. Flat and white,
blank as the snow that falls
steadily, a gauze to bloodied
land. I am hurt. Can no-one
see the way my wound pulses
red? A bright crimson heart
of despair. The clots hemorrhage
curdled blood. It has turned,
can no one can smell it?
No one sees, nor cares
for this bled-white pupil,
pill-hooked, safely tucked,
tight beneath the sheets, I live
in an envelope of white, my little
head popping out, a wax seal,
My expression cold and final.
In the first light of day, dawn grey
I sense your approach, the quick
kiss on forehead. So paternal
and dry, you kiss me off. Love,
I see it. I know where you go,
where you creep, velvet-footed,
silent, so quiet.
You cannot wait -- the great escape
Run fast from sick-bed, marital
trust and void all prior commitments.
Now you'll snap the vows like wishbones,
so brittle and dry, you break each promise.
Why? unbearable lightness. This changes
everything. My dark existence.
With those red-lipped, blonded sirens
you are light as helium. Their charms,
their accents, little hooks on which
you catch, simple flirtation -- to play
lightly, brightly, a short-term promise
of fun fun fun! Why, we had not even
begun and already you had started
with that Medusa. Each of you snared
on other's hook-like smile.
You wriggle brightly, a silver fish,
you flash flares of light. You let me slip.
Forget first kiss, our words, silent,
spoken promises. They are not here.
Instead, you rise, stiff and blank with
newness. Here, now, there are no
stones to weigh you down. No marital
drone. Instead a flat and open canvas.
It waits for touch of brush.
The sweet landscape that she paints,
a brand new horizon, subtle, it undulates.
You shed past baggage, see
your new life, clear on her horizon.