68 degrees and raining in Northern Florida.
It's Christmas Eve day and a jogger
Was hit by an elderly woman who was
Sure she had ran over a pelican.
Midwest battered by heavy snow.
Woman says Scott Peterson tried
To seduce her the day his wife's
Body was found. Bill Cosby, who
Tragically lost a son some years back,
Has come out of hiding and produced
A new movie. Katie Couric, all smiles
Now, but yesterday I read in the Enquirer
That she broke up with some jazz
Musician who used her to boost
His publicity ratings. The Russians
In space have eaten all their food
So the Soviets have sent up an
Un-manned robot to deliver food
And Christmas goodies -- a real
Mechanical Santa. Barbara
Streisand has cancer and Julia Roberts
Has fired two nannies already,
And, of course, someone,
Somewhere was abducted
by an alien. I'm having tea
while my husband drinks his
coffee, reads an article in French.
That's all the news that's fit to print.
That's all we have today.