After having gone through many hard times, and hey, who hasn’t in their life by a certain age, I have finally realized that I absolutely know nothing. By this I do not mean the “oh, I at last realize that I used to know everything, but I now realize that I knew so little.” I truly mean that I know absolutely nothing (hard emphasis there.)

After years of studying philosophy, and I do mean years, which I have carried through the present day, or rather, a month or so ago, I realize what I want, I can’t get. Even recently, I was re-reading Nicomachean Ethics and Plato’s Meno and Marcus Aurelius and the like, thinking that in that, true virtue (capital V) would be found. What I realized though is that what I want is not to be found here in the world. Or not in my world anyway. Maybe in your world and damn, baby, if you got it, hold onto it, because you’re lucky. Sometimes what we think we have, is not what we indeed have. Perhaps Paul Westerberg of The Replacements fame was right when he said, "The truth is overrated... I suppose... it's a wonderful lie... I still get by on those."

Look: I did my fair study of Existentialism as well. Because of this, I realized that there were and are things so empty and void of meaning that they are truly nauseating. That said, I tended more toward Aristotle and Platonic ideals that all began with a capital letter, like Love and Virtue etc. All those absolutes that, on paper anyway, seemed to work out so well in black and white through some Socratic method that made sense (*at the time, ask me now and I may tell you something else. Refer to earlier Westerberg quote "It's a wonderful lie...".

Life, of course, I have always known is no more than shades of grey, but painted, deceptively, in shades of brilliant color. It is prettied up for us, and by some, it is over-simplified into that neat black and white package, but for the smarter (and worse, those who will suffer) it is always going to be shades of endless grey. People feel the need to define, and to redefine, and how dare we step out of the neat little definition that have formed of us! Who are we after all to be, well, we. My issue really, why the need for definition at all?

I kept hearing the expression, as my spiritual advisor would say to me, “What would J.C. do?” (What would Jesus Christ do?) Hey, I have no idea what Jesus Christ would do… probably something absolutely amazing, like take to the mountain and cure all that ails, which is not something that I, anyway, am not capable of. He would suffer all the tortures for the common good and me? I am no martyr. I am no-one’s savior. I am pragmatic. I know that ultimately, we must all save ourselves.

In my dreams, though I am being saved. In my dreams, I am being saved by a loving hand that reaches for me and I love that. It has felt loving and in being saved, I too offer salvation. But that is a dream- or a series of dreams. But that is not life and I got that hard smack in the face pretty recently. Not a eureka moment, which would have been much nicer – but a bright Klieg light going off and an A-ha! moment but a slow bleed. Thank god I am a documentarian of things, otherwise I would have doubted my sanity. What people say, what they do, what they admit to themselves, to you, may be entirely different from the actual truth... but again... "it's a wonderful lie, I still get by on those."

I want to speak about What would J.C. do? because I have to tell you, having worked as a sub-deacon in the Anglican Church for many years as a lay-reader and a mathematical bell-ringer, I still don’t know what J.C. would do and while I’m sure the Bible would somehow reference it, it is filtered through the eyes of others.

I somewhat jokingly said to my husband, among other friends, that I need a bracelet engraved with the words, What would BD do?” (What would Bob Dylan do?) Sure, it sounds nuts, but I’m telling you, at least I know Bob Dylan is not filtered down through other people and that his words are right there for the finding at www.bobdylan.com .

Just search the lyrics and voila! It’s like a Magic 8 ball but better. The answers make sense. Yes, you wonder, you have doubt and I don’t blame you, so to that end, let me provide you with some examples from my recent experience to demonstrate.

Ah, the caveat, this guide only works for those who, like me, are bashful, shy, and can’t seem to find the words themselves (bitter irony for a writer, no?) but love makes us do funny things. To that end, since I find myself at a loss these days, I let BD speak for me. Maybe he can do this for you too. After all, though he shrugged off the label, and I don’t blame him, he was “the voice of a generation.” Whether that’s true or not, is for him to decide. He doesn’t even have to be my voice, all I know is that he says what I try so hard to say, but often fail so miserably at doing. So, we begin:

A falling out with a friend who denies hurting you. Or pretends not to understand the basic premise of your hurt. You can either accept the denial and roll into a ball and cry, or, like BD you can turn the whole thing around into the joke that it is and say the following:

I'm leavin' today,
I'll be on my way
Of this I can't say very much.
But if you want me to,
I can be just like you
An' pretend that we never have touched.
An' if anybody asks me, "Is it easy to forget?"
I'll say, "It's easily done,
You just pick anyone,
An' pretend that you never have met!"

I Don’t Believe You (She Acts Like We Never Have Met)

Good advice. I say, take it. So then, BD is again right: “It’s easily done…”

You’ve been jilted and it hurts at the end of a relationship, a parting of ways? What would BD say? First, He “Ain’t Gonna Grieve No More…” That’s for sure. After that (this could be read two ways, he leaving or you leaving, but either way, dignity intact, which is the salient factor:

I'm walkin' down that long, lonesome road, babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
But goodbye's too good a word, gal
So I'll just say fare thee well
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right

“Don’t Think Twice It’s Alright”

So you’re lost, are you? Confused – No worries:

You will search, babe,
At any cost.
But how long, babe,
Can you search for what's not lost?
Ev'rybody will help you,
Some people are very kind.
But if I can save you any time,
Come on, give it to me,
I'll keep it with mine.

(and the final verse)

The train leaves
At half past ten ,
But it'll be back tomorrow,
Same time again.
The conductor he's weary,
He's still stuck on the line.
But if I can save you any time,
Come on, give it to me,
I'll keep it with mine.

“I’ll Keep It With Mine”

Confused? Well, at least you don’t have to be alone. Fate has let you down, dealt you the bad hand? Hey, you ain’t alone :

I got mixed up confusion
Man, it's a-killin' me
Well, there's too many people
And they're all too hard to please
Well, my hat's in my hand
Babe, I'm walkin' down the line
An' I'm lookin' for a woman
Whose head's mixed up like mine
Well, my head's full of questions
My temp'rature's risin' fast
Well, I'm lookin' for some answers
But I don't know who to ask
But I'm walkin' and wonderin'
And my poor feet don't ever stop
Seein' my reflection
I'm hung over, hung down, hung up!

“Mixed Up Confusion”, see also, “Simple Twist of Fate”

Have you fallen into a sweet and simple love that you have no wish or desire to define? It is pastoral and you simply want to keep it that way? No obvious need to really define for others? You want to keep it between you two, “there’s just gonna be you ‘an me”:

Now, he's underneath that apple suckling tree
Oh yeah!
Under that apple suckling tree
Oh yeah!
That's underneath that tree
There's gonna be just you and me
Underneath that apple suckling tree
Oh yeah!
I push him back and I stand in line
Oh yeah!
Then I hush my Sadie and stand in line
Oh yeah!
Then I hush my Sadie and stand in line
I get on board in two-eyed time
Oh yeah!

“Apple Suckling Tree”

Relationship, marital, friendship problems? The person won’t budge and there is no getting through to them? (I have to say, I wish certain others could be more like BD in this way. Why some people find it so hard to talk over something that is important tis beyond me, and no, shyness is no excuse because we all know that Bob, like me, and maybe even like you, was and is, incredibly reticent and shy. So, what would BD do?

I think we better talk this over
Maybe when we both get sober
You'll understand I'm only a man
Doin' the best that I can.
This situation can only get rougher.
Why should we needlessly suffer?
Let's call it a day, go our own different ways
Before we decay.

“We Better Talk This Over”

Desirous but just too shy to say? In love, but can’t say?

If the first time:

“I Want You”

if for fun:

“If You Gotta Go, Go Now (Or Else You Gotta Stay All Night)

In an ongoing relationship:

“One More Weekend with You” for fun. In-love: “If Not for You” and “Can’t Leave Her Behind”

The big, but gentle brush-off:

“It Ain’t Me, Babe”

Offering comfort? Need Comfort?

“Shelter from the Storm” (You know the lyrics. If you don’t, look them up. The whole song is good so I won’t reproduce the whole thing here.)

An experience that you can’t get out of your head, a touch that leaves you wond’ rin’? The touch of a hand… restless palms?

Let me know, babe, I got to know, babe,
If it's you my lifelines trace.

I been wond'rin' all about me
Ever since I seen you there.
On the cliffs of your wildcat charms I'm riding,
I know I'm 'round you but I don't know where.
You have slayed me, you have made me,
I got to laugh halfways off my heels.
I got to know, babe, will I be touching you
So I can tell if I'm really real.

“Spanish Harlem Incident”

Memories? Feeling wistful, melancholic?

Some of these bootleggers, they make pretty good stuff
Plenty of places to hide things here if you wanna hide 'em bad enough
I'm staying with Aunt Sally, but you know, she's not really my aunt
Some of these memories you can learn to live with and some of them you can't
Sugar Baby get on down the line
You ain't got no brains, no how
You went years without me
You might as well keep going now

“Sugar Baby” also “Precious Memories” (if more fond, less bittersweet)

Huddled in a doorway in a storm? Want to be? A lot going on literally, metaphorically?

“Chimes of Freedom”

Just happy? Want to be happy? How to say it?

Can't you hear that motor turnin'?
Automobile comin' into style
Comin' down the road for a country mile or two
So happy just to see you smile
Underneath the sky of blue
On this new morning, new morning
On this new morning with you.
The night passed away so quickly
It always does when you're with me.

“New Morning”

Major life revision – wondering what is what and how to express but don’t want to upset?

“It’s Alright, Ma. I’m Only Bleedin’ (ho, ho, ho)

Is it all over? No hope left (which can apply to any situation)?

“It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue”

and the only version that I would say that counts, from the Live 1966 concert in the UK .

Of course, the scenarios are endless, like life, and I won’t name them all here. The point here is to illustrate only that sometimes, the answers can be found in the simplest of things. This is why there are writers, us among them, Bob Dylan one of them. He, like some, speak when we are at a loss. This is not to say that the onus is on others to do all the talking for us.

Ultimately, we must speak for ourselves and ultimately, the onus is on us, as I illustrated even in this article here in which even Bob says that we gotta talk it over. He’s right. He can’t always do the talking and knowing that, he advises us to do what he himself would do. So what would BD do, as my bracelet that I wear every day, do? He would think, then he would talk it over. He wouldn't say, "it's a wonderful lie..." But he would get by. That's all we could ask for.

Therein lies the answer.

Thanks for listening.

s.r.p.