I keep thinking i will see you.
See your form as it lifts ghostly
from the fog, some apparition
you rise light and all american
smiles and come to me as if in
a dream because i have what you want....
You know it. It is why you offer up
that slow, sly smile and arrive
bearing gifts intended to please
yet still, you play coy. I could
ache for you. Yet family surrounded
we are bound, hand-tied and gagged
i cannot even offer the bird call
you evoke. Even my flush
has subsided. I am pale, flat,
and wan. Wanting you as i did,
as i do, as i don't, through these
in-between days. Love, the rain
comes steady. All i can hear
is the sound of your heart
as it beats, faster and faster
like a train on a track, about
to derail, in the moment
just before the big crash.